I might be pregnant and i'm considering abortion
my bf and i had protected sex but now i'm 30 days late... i don't have any signs of pregnancy and my period has always been irregular (i'm 21 yrs old).i'm going to get a home test today. i know if it's positive i would HAVE to get "one of those" ... the big bad A word. i know it's horrible and unethical... and i opened my legs so it's my fault... all this isn't going to change my mind because i would never never have a child out of wedlock.. my parents would die in disappointment.. i can't fathom telling them (they're muslim and they know i've got a longterm bf and they're fine with it but they're definitely not cool with sex before marriage)... anyway. my bf on the other hand is not muslim but he doesn't believe in abortion yet he's willing to respect my decision if i do come out positive. i feel gulity because i know he feels strongly about it and would want to give it the best chance (he's well off so i'm assuming he thinks it would be best if we kept it). i just feel guilty because i know it's not only mine... it's his too. but then i think it's my body, my future, and my life... i'm so confused right now... but i'm heading out to get a few of those home preg tests.
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Comments
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1Seems a little premature to be talking about abortion when you're only 30 days late and aren't even sure you're pregnant and you have irregular periods anyway. lol
A friend of mine in high school got royally fucked this way when the chick he'd been dating thought she was pregnant because she was late and she told her mom and he was 18 and she was 17. He ended up being sent off to the Marines in lieu of going to prison but believe me, that's not what his career plans included.
And the punch like was that she wasn't pregnant after all.
Posted 5 months ago | Report -
2Best case scenario, your pregnant. Now what? you have to take flak for what you did in good knowledge? You'd rather consider killing the kid because you cant take the disappointment of your parents.... How more disappointed will they be when they find out that you not only had a baby before marriage, but then went and killed the baby.
Please don't make two mistakes, your boyfriend can handle having a kid, your parents steam will go away, after all, who can stay mad at a newborn baby? You have already made the mistake of having a sex before marriage, don't double it and kill the baby.
another though--how bad will YOU feel down the road, knowing what you did? Can you live with that?
Posted 5 months ago | Report -
3#2: Who can stay mad at a newborn baby? How about women with post-partum depression? You know some of them go on to hurt/kill either the baby or themselves.
How is having a child that you don't really want a good thing? You think the kid will be raised well by a mother who doesn't want it?
Having a child changes your entire life. If you feel you are not ready to have and raise a child, no one can force you to have one. Having babies should not be a punishment for what some people consider immorality.
Posted 5 months ago | Report -
4it took me a few weeks after learning i was pregnant to figure out what the right decision was for me... I actually chose to have it, celebrated and everything... Then realized that it wasn't the right time. i didn't want to be the same kind of mom my mother was, stressed and emotionally disconnected and abandoning... But i could clearly see that this was my trajectory. so i decided to have an abortion... Which was scary and the place i went treated the women like cattle... But it was the right decision... In my deepest heart, i know this. and my life has changed for the better since because having to go through something like that... As a woman... Woke me up in a lot of really crucial ways.
so search yourself... Not anyone else's approval or opinion... It's your body and your choice. and everyone has different lessons and experiences to endure in this lifetime so whatever you choose will be perfect.
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5Don't make a choice based on what will make somebody else happy. Do what's right for you. You shouldn't live your life trying to please people... They will feel whatever they want towards you no matter what actions you take. Once you realize that, you're set for life. If you don't get it, you can go kill yourself. lol If you are angry right now it's not because I made you angry... I am not capable of that. You are angry/happy/sad/whatever, because you want to be. It's a conscious decision like everything else in your life. You are in control of your feelings. Figure it out.
Posted 5 months ago | Report -
6Just do what you know to be best for you & your life, and no of course it's not your fault for 'opening your legs' okay? It takes two to tango and frankly it's a sentiment coming from uneducated judgmental hypocrites who care more about something which is at this point a parasitic lump of cells than they do about the women carrying them or the millions of born kids dying from starvation and disease.
Posted 5 months ago | Report -
7Here's the problem I have with abortions, and this case is pretty much exemplifying my issue:
I understand that 'accidents' happen and everything, but the thought that abortions are used as birth control kind of sickens me. I'm not a religious zealot, either, I just think it's sad that someone would willingly end the life of an (albeit potential) innocent human being when there are so many people who aren't able to have their own children.
That being said, you do what you feel the need to do. You even said yourself that you might not be pregnant anyway, but this might make you think about what you're doing a little more closely from now on.
Posted 5 months ago | Report -
8#7 can you not read? The OP said she used birth control. No one WANT to spend like $500 to spend their afternoon in stirrups or the next week feeling sick to their stomach for the sake of like, convenience you dumbass.
It sickens me that people invest so much energy and concern over potential human beings but oh, nevermind the living ones presently abandoned and starving to death.
And who's to say that potential human being wont be a felon or serial killer?
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9I thought it was $300-ish and your first one's free... At least here in Canada.
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10Good luck! I hope you're not for your sake. I don't disagree with abortion, but my bf does. Yes, it's his too and you're lucky to have a bf that will support you no matter what decision you make. Mine, would never speak to me again. But then again, guys need to realize that it's your body and your life as well. I'm not sure if I would be able to have a baby knowing that I never wanted it. I think that would make me feel more guilty than having an abortion.
Posted 5 months ago | Report -
11Please don't have an abortion. You could give the baby up for adoption, but please do not kill a baby.
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so you can live as you wish."
--Mother Teresa
Posted 5 months ago | Report -
12Hi #8, #7 here!
Funny thing, yes, I can read. Guess that's why I started my post with something along the lines of "I understand that accidents happen". Usually that implies that I understand the situation. Her using birth control and still getting pregnant would actually equate to being an accident.
I also said that I just feel the use of abortions as compensation for your (unintended, sure) mistakes makes me sad considering how many couples would love to have a child. Is there something wrong with that opinion?
I also never said that I didn't care about the sick or starving people that are alive now, either. Just clarifying that one.
And who says any baby that is ever born won't be a felon or serial killer? Should people just altogether stop having children then? I mean, who knows, right?
Also, it is possible to argue a point with someone without resorting to name calling. It's kind of childish. Just sayin'.
Posted 5 months ago | Report -
13#12, women have no obligation or duty to reproduce just because some couples cant. By that reasoning, you'd have a duty not to reproduce until all the unwanted children have parents.
There are a ton of perfectly good existing kids in need of good homes and if they're not good enough because these infertile couples are only after a (rare) white newborn, perhaps they don't deserve kids.
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14#13:
I'm not saying that it's anyone else's obligation to provide children for those who cannot reproduce, I just find it sad that there are people that willingly will end a life when there are other people who would gladly raise their babies. Again, not an obligation, just a humanitarian thing to do.
And yeah, there are people who want babies (not always white, not sure why you pulled that one out) so they can feel like they have their own child from birth.
Like I said, it's my opinion, just because you don't agree doesn't mean I'm wrong. I even said in my original reply that she needs to do what she feels is best for her (which is something that I don't agree with, but can understand).
Posted 5 months ago | Report -
15Does no one believe in facing the consequences of his/her actions? Your pregnancy may not have been intentional, but you knew what might have happened when you had sex. Just because you don't want to "ruin your life" with a child doesn't give you a right to end another human being's life. Have the baby and give it up for adoption or let your boyfriend take care of it. I know it is your body, but you still have no right to end a life for your own selfish reasons.
Posted 5 months ago | Report