Stereotypical Boss
I lure people in with the lies of creative control and autonomy. I seem open to ideas and change. I am the stereotypical boss. I told you you would be paid $60, 000, though your checks will only add up to $59, 999. I only come by on your days off and then, like directed by the hand of GOD, find the small details you left unchecked. I tell you to do something, then, after you have worked hard to complete your task, tell you to change it to something else. I suck at my job, and plan to keep it for reasons even the Buddha could not understand. I am the dick-nose fucker, I am your boss. I say profound things about business in short, unscheduled meetings during your peak hours when you don't have the time to listen. I just read them in some business magazine while drinking some starbucks that I weasel onto my expense report because my boss is even more stupid than me. Oh, you can't call me out... Except on Ventibate... Because, I am your boss.Rating:5.00
Comments
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1
Im the employee that robs you blind and get paid to "look" busy. I slack all day chattering away with fellow friends at work. I'm the one thats more than happy to work over time and do just enough work. I'm the employee that your wife and or daughters are seeing when they go to "yoga" or to the "salon". I'm the one cheating at life and getting away with it. I'm the one that took risks in investments with your money and now close to retirement well your sipping your starbucks worring how your going to make your next car car payment or send your kids to college. Thank you dumbwitted bosses that are sending my future kids and grandkids to college.
Posted 6 months ago | Report
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2
I am the employee that slashes your tires and spits in your coffee. And then fucks your wife. Which is extra bad because I'm a woman.
Posted 6 months ago | Report
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3
I am not the stereotypical boss. I treat my people like human beings. I give them loans and let them bring their kids and dogs to work when they can't find sitters. While I can't afford to pay people $60k, I pay a living wage. Fuck corporate America.
Posted 6 months ago | Report
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4
^ Damn I want to come work for you. I don't even need a loan.
Posted 6 months ago | Report
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5
lol #2. Actually I LIKE the idea of the last part.
Posted 6 months ago | Report
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6
#2... what's your number?
Posted 4 months ago | Report
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7
Too many bosses not enough fucking shotguns.
Posted 3 months ago | Report
1
Im the employee that robs you blind and get paid to "look" busy. I slack all day chattering away with fellow friends at work. I'm the one thats more than happy to work over time and do just enough work. I'm the employee that your wife and or daughters are seeing when they go to "yoga" or to the "salon". I'm the one cheating at life and getting away with it. I'm the one that took risks in investments with your money and now close to retirement well your sipping your starbucks worring how your going to make your next car car payment or send your kids to college. Thank you dumbwitted bosses that are sending my future kids and grandkids to college.Posted 6 months ago | Report
2
I am the employee that slashes your tires and spits in your coffee. And then fucks your wife. Which is extra bad because I'm a woman.Posted 6 months ago | Report
3
I am not the stereotypical boss. I treat my people like human beings. I give them loans and let them bring their kids and dogs to work when they can't find sitters. While I can't afford to pay people $60k, I pay a living wage. Fuck corporate America.Posted 6 months ago | Report
4
^ Damn I want to come work for you. I don't even need a loan.Posted 6 months ago | Report
5
lol #2. Actually I LIKE the idea of the last part.Posted 6 months ago | Report
6
#2... what's your number?Posted 4 months ago | Report
7
Too many bosses not enough fucking shotguns.Posted 3 months ago | Report
