Dear Mom and Dad
You know how in The Lion King Simba grew up and he was so mentally tortured and suffered from all that guilt, thinking not only that he was a murderer, but that he killed Mufasa? Think of how terrible that must have been! No one was there to tell him that it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't a terrible creature, rotten to the core.I kind of feel the same way. Not because I killed someone. But my whole life I have carried around what I thought was this deep, dark, awful secret, and I would have DIED if someone had "found out."
What I want to know is, why is it that when you sat down to talk to me about sex, when you told me how natural it was, how it was a gift to humankind, how it was beautiful, how you did it ALL the FREAKING TIME, you never ONCE mentioned masturbation??????????
Here I was, thinking I was some sick psycho freak who might need some sort of medication/rehab, and finally someone cared about me enough to tell me that not only everyone does it, but even BABIES do it before they're BORN!!!
Thank GOD! I'm freaking NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does ANYONE have any idea how relieved and happy I am? And how angry I am that my PARENTS, who were wonderful enough to tell me about the wonderfully sweet bliss of sex, didn't care to mention that it's as normal as pooping to touch yourself?
I guess I should explain things to my sister. Obviously you two aren't.
To all the other parents out there who are nervous about the sex talk: tell your kids about masturbation. Otherwise they could grow up thinking they're sick freaks in need of treatment, and you'll be the weird parents who raise the weird kid who lies to everyone about it, thinking people believe it.
Rating:0.00
Comments
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1
It's normal to a point.
If you're tossing off whilst wearing Mommy's garterbelt and panties, you have ceased being normal.
Or, if you're tossing your throat yogurt on a family portrait, or an animal for that matter, that's not normal either.
And if you demonstrate when you tell your sister, I'm sorry, but that too is off the reservation.
Thinking about nutting in a supermodels' poop chute? Totally normal and encouraged.
Just take it easy on your wrists and elbows. Ice afterward to keep the swelling down. And if you cum dust, you'll know you've done it too much.
Good luck and good strokin' there Spanky.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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2
Good parenting #1.
Any advice on whether it's normal to touch preschool girls in their special places?
Mom and dad never mentioned it and I feel like a dirty boy.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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3
Hey, OP... jerkin the gherkin is fine, to a point. Don't let it be the complete reason for your existence.
When you start shunning hanging out with friends and meeting girls so that you can tussle the muscle, then you will cross the line into weird loser dorkdom.
Everything is fine in moderation.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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4
OP here:
I just mean that the whole idea of masturbation itself being okay is totally foreign to me. I don't think I ever did it in concerningly excessive amounts, but the fact that I did it at all made me think I was sick.
BTW, all I'll do with my sister is tell her that she's not a freak for doing it either. Never would I dream of SHOWING her. I mean hello, this is something I kept locked up forever. I understand it's a private matter.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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5
Well just so you don't screw it up maybe you should let me show your sister,,,,
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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6
#5 is a fucktard. He wants to masturbate for a girl instead of getting some from her? Total douche.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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7
Give 5 a break. S'the closest he's ever gotten.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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8
Op, spank your monkey so much that peta comes after you.....
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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9
Hey Op, #8 here again, when you spank your monkey, could you videotape it for me?
Posted 1 month ago | Report
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10
Uh is anyone else here disturbed by #2?
Posted 2 weeks ago | Report
1
It's normal to a point.If you're tossing off whilst wearing Mommy's garterbelt and panties, you have ceased being normal.
Or, if you're tossing your throat yogurt on a family portrait, or an animal for that matter, that's not normal either.
And if you demonstrate when you tell your sister, I'm sorry, but that too is off the reservation.
Thinking about nutting in a supermodels' poop chute? Totally normal and encouraged.
Just take it easy on your wrists and elbows. Ice afterward to keep the swelling down. And if you cum dust, you'll know you've done it too much.
Good luck and good strokin' there Spanky.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
2
Good parenting #1. Any advice on whether it's normal to touch preschool girls in their special places?
Mom and dad never mentioned it and I feel like a dirty boy.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
3
Hey, OP... jerkin the gherkin is fine, to a point. Don't let it be the complete reason for your existence. When you start shunning hanging out with friends and meeting girls so that you can tussle the muscle, then you will cross the line into weird loser dorkdom.
Everything is fine in moderation.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
4
OP here:I just mean that the whole idea of masturbation itself being okay is totally foreign to me. I don't think I ever did it in concerningly excessive amounts, but the fact that I did it at all made me think I was sick.
BTW, all I'll do with my sister is tell her that she's not a freak for doing it either. Never would I dream of SHOWING her. I mean hello, this is something I kept locked up forever. I understand it's a private matter.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
5
Well just so you don't screw it up maybe you should let me show your sister,,,,Posted 2 months ago | Report
6
#5 is a fucktard. He wants to masturbate for a girl instead of getting some from her? Total douche.Posted 2 months ago | Report
7
Give 5 a break. S'the closest he's ever gotten.Posted 2 months ago | Report
8
Op, spank your monkey so much that peta comes after you.....Posted 2 months ago | Report
9
Hey Op, #8 here again, when you spank your monkey, could you videotape it for me?Posted 1 month ago | Report
10
Uh is anyone else here disturbed by #2?Posted 2 weeks ago | Report
