Life sucks
Where to start...at the beginning I guess. My junior year in HS, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I paid for the ring and everything...I was just waiting on it to be engraved, when her dad sent her out of state to live with her aunt. We stayed in touch but eventually things cooled off too much and when she came back after she graduated, we just couldn't get the flame reignited. Since that, can't seem to get serious about a relationship. I compare everyone to her, and they just can't hold a candle to her. The one person I'm interested in is in a relationship with a complete ass. He's lazy disrespectful to her, and just an all around jerk. They 'break up' about once a month, but always get back together the next day...They've been together for a long time, 3 years I think, and, I don't know, it's frustrating.I'm stuck in a dead end job. It's actually already dead-ended. I can't afford to go back to school in order to find something better. My dad died almost 2 years ago, and I really haven't dealt with that yet. He ended up in ICU on a ventilator for 7 days befor we decided to turn off the ventilator. They say he couldn't feel anything, but it sure doesn't look 'peaceful' when someone is gasping for breath. Everyone says it was good that I was there, but the image of a loved one basically suffocating will be forever etched in your memory. And it'll bring you pain whenever you remember that person. I'm ashamed of the fact that in almost 2 years, I've been to the cemetery MAYBE 5 times. I spent a lot of time with my dad. We both worked for the same company, doing the same thing, so we were together a lot. I'm not really sure where the last couple years went. It's like I've been on autopilot. There's days when I go to work and then it's time to go home...all my work's done, but I don't remember doing it...
Everything kind of just caught up to me this weekend. I went out and bought a big bottle of Absolut. And I drank. I was going for numb, but didn't stop there...I think I was close to needing to go to the hospital. I was actually scared I was going to die. I could say that I've decided to quit drinking, but that would be a lie...
This sucks...I thought you were supposed to feel better when you got things off your chest...
Rating:5.00
Comments
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1
i couldnt even read your rant. if you are going to propose in your junior year of highschool, the world is better off without you
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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2
Stay away from the booze, it doesn't help. My brother in law killed himself with vodka rather than consent to our pleas for seeing a therapist. The vodka didn't kill him right away, he spent several years working up to it, finally succumbing to cirrhosis and hepatitis. It was not a pretty sight.
Anyway, find someone to talk to, maybe someone who's been through similar experiences. If a support group is too daunting, talk to a minister - they are good listeners and most are not just out to convert people.
Someone once said that a problem shared is a problem halved. I think that's very true.
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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3
Believe me, not marrying your girlfriend in high school was not a bad thing because it wouldn't have lasted anyway and you probably would have popped out a kid you'd be dealing with when you were way too young anyway.
As for your father, I was close to my father too and he passed away 2 years ago and I still miss him, but dying is part of life and I'm just glad for all the good memories I have instead of being one of the unlucky people that has a terrible father and wishes they were dead and don't miss them when they are.
Drinking won't solve anything but the fact that you were afraid you were going to die is a good sign.
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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4
wtf is up with kids wanting to marry in high school. If you love each other so much why the fuck won't you wait!! DAMN!! And stop drinking before u have to go to AA meetings.
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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5
Yo, get in shape and join the Army. The dating game is insane in the military.
Posted 9 months ago | Report
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6
seriously, high school relationships are a joke, get over it. As for your father, i can understand. Thats pretty fucked up.
Posted 9 months ago | Report
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7
Build a bridge and get over it!
It's called life. Make it good and it's ok. Mope and pout, and it sucks. Your choice.....
Posted 7 months ago | Report
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8
www.poliartos.cn
Posted 5 months ago | Report
1
i couldnt even read your rant. if you are going to propose in your junior year of highschool, the world is better off without youPosted 10 months ago | Report
2
Stay away from the booze, it doesn't help. My brother in law killed himself with vodka rather than consent to our pleas for seeing a therapist. The vodka didn't kill him right away, he spent several years working up to it, finally succumbing to cirrhosis and hepatitis. It was not a pretty sight.Anyway, find someone to talk to, maybe someone who's been through similar experiences. If a support group is too daunting, talk to a minister - they are good listeners and most are not just out to convert people.
Someone once said that a problem shared is a problem halved. I think that's very true.
Posted 10 months ago | Report
3
Believe me, not marrying your girlfriend in high school was not a bad thing because it wouldn't have lasted anyway and you probably would have popped out a kid you'd be dealing with when you were way too young anyway.As for your father, I was close to my father too and he passed away 2 years ago and I still miss him, but dying is part of life and I'm just glad for all the good memories I have instead of being one of the unlucky people that has a terrible father and wishes they were dead and don't miss them when they are.
Drinking won't solve anything but the fact that you were afraid you were going to die is a good sign.
Posted 10 months ago | Report
4
wtf is up with kids wanting to marry in high school. If you love each other so much why the fuck won't you wait!! DAMN!! And stop drinking before u have to go to AA meetings.Posted 10 months ago | Report
5
Yo, get in shape and join the Army. The dating game is insane in the military.Posted 9 months ago | Report
6
seriously, high school relationships are a joke, get over it. As for your father, i can understand. Thats pretty fucked up.Posted 9 months ago | Report
7
Build a bridge and get over it!It's called life. Make it good and it's ok. Mope and pout, and it sucks. Your choice.....
Posted 7 months ago | Report
8
www.poliartos.cnPosted 5 months ago | Report
