Fat tards
I totally hate those fat tards who go around fattin it up all over the place, moaning and groaning when they walk up stairs or small inclines. I can't stand the diet supplements that get added to food these days, like aspartame in diets coke and olestra in chips. OLESTRA GAVE ME ANAL LEAKAGE!!!Rating:4.84
Comments
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16
I once ate 3 bags of Wow chips in a matter of 2 days. The aftermath was a complete disaster. The leakage was not only constant, it was varying colors and smells. The smell was worse than any atrocious or horrendous thing you could imagine grazing the hairs of your nostrils. It made my eyes water and my hair stand up on my neck. When I got my pants off, there were rainbows of cloudy ass juice.
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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17
I ate three bags of chips with olestra once and thats when my leakage started. I shat so much that my asshole blew smoke. Now i have recurrent post traumatic stress syndrome and have trouble wiping properly because I am so scared. I am forced to use ass gaskets or ass napkins in order to stop the chafing and keep thing in order down there. thanks a lot olestra!
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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18
My wife sent my kid to school with some chips that had olestra in it, I got a call from the principle later that day asking to pick up my son because he had shit his pants so bad that they had to clear out his kinder garden class as the smell caused a chain reaction of projectile vomiting amongst the kids.... there was shit and puke all over the room, up the walls, on the flip chart, even all over the classroom hamster Cuddles.
Last time I buy those unless its for the wife before our monthly skat party.
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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19
I am a fat tard and my favorite thing to eat is sausage. The sausages I eat haven't given me the shits but the company that makes them changed the packaging to slim us lardasses down. I placed a phone call dalasverdugo.com to the company and voice my displeasure. Now for Some reason I keep shitting and so does my family. I think this is some sort of corporate conspiracy to make us slim down by shitting all day.
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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20
Thats it! They want us to shit after eating diet food... It all makes sense now, it not that the foods are more healthy its that it comes rushing out of our asses at 110 mph, maybe I can loose all this weight just by shitting it out...
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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21
You people make me sick!
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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22
Guess I wont be getting much diet food anymore. Thanks for your honesty on this embarrassing subject.
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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23
Beer gives me the shits to. I cant imagine what would happen if I got really beer drunk and then ate a bag of olestra chips. The next morning would be disaster.
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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24
So if I cant eat diet food because it will give me the shits, should I just be continuing down my path of inactivity, sloth, and gluttony?
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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25
Are they called Baked Lays because that's how they're made, or because that's what I'd have to be to enjoy them?
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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26
you're stupid. aspartame is awesome!!!i mean yeah, it might give me cancer but im skinny and i can drink all the soda i want. yay!
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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27
Fuck olestra. If you are fat, you should just ingest large quantities of ephedra. Or methamphetimine, that will make you skinny as well. I hate me some fatties, but speedfreaks is cool
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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28
There was a report on CNN the other day about this Olestra shit... its scary that not many people know that it causes violent diarrhea.
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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29
We polished off a bag of Lay's "Max" chips for lunch and dinner, feeling chic and cosmopolitan. A little constipation was a small price to pay for fat-free enjoyment of a delicious grease substitute!
Until that evening, when tragedy struck.
I went into the bathroom to attempt a transaction. Dropped my pants. I sat down with a good book (ironically, Tom Robbins' Jitterbug Perfume), and successfully issued forth a perfect grogan.
But something was wrong. Everything seemed wetter, not like diarrhea, but somehow -- how can I put this delicately -- juicier. I couldn't explain what it was, until I got up to look.
I was experiencing the horror of "anal leakage." In addition to my regular waste matter, there were thick brown drops of grease floating on the water. It looked like someone had spilled 10W-40 into the toilet. What was even more disturbing was the greasy yellowish film that was collecting on the water's surface, like high-grade canola oil.
I had to wipe 15,000 times to clean up this mess. When I was finished, I called in Jade to take a look. She was so terrified by my bunghole emissions that she refused to eat any more chips.
Posted 1 year ago | Report
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30
Before my shower in the morning, I had the urge to give birth to Baby Brown. This I did with little difficulty; in fact, my bowels were slightly soft. The consistency was like a thick lentil soup.
Thanks Olestra
Posted 1 year ago | Report
16
I once ate 3 bags of Wow chips in a matter of 2 days. The aftermath was a complete disaster. The leakage was not only constant, it was varying colors and smells. The smell was worse than any atrocious or horrendous thing you could imagine grazing the hairs of your nostrils. It made my eyes water and my hair stand up on my neck. When I got my pants off, there were rainbows of cloudy ass juice.Posted 1 year ago | Report
17
I ate three bags of chips with olestra once and thats when my leakage started. I shat so much that my asshole blew smoke. Now i have recurrent post traumatic stress syndrome and have trouble wiping properly because I am so scared. I am forced to use ass gaskets or ass napkins in order to stop the chafing and keep thing in order down there. thanks a lot olestra! Posted 1 year ago | Report
18
My wife sent my kid to school with some chips that had olestra in it, I got a call from the principle later that day asking to pick up my son because he had shit his pants so bad that they had to clear out his kinder garden class as the smell caused a chain reaction of projectile vomiting amongst the kids.... there was shit and puke all over the room, up the walls, on the flip chart, even all over the classroom hamster Cuddles.Last time I buy those unless its for the wife before our monthly skat party.
Posted 1 year ago | Report
19
I am a fat tard and my favorite thing to eat is sausage. The sausages I eat haven't given me the shits but the company that makes them changed the packaging to slim us lardasses down. I placed a phone call dalasverdugo.com to the company and voice my displeasure. Now for Some reason I keep shitting and so does my family. I think this is some sort of corporate conspiracy to make us slim down by shitting all day. Posted 1 year ago | Report
20
Thats it! They want us to shit after eating diet food... It all makes sense now, it not that the foods are more healthy its that it comes rushing out of our asses at 110 mph, maybe I can loose all this weight just by shitting it out...Posted 1 year ago | Report
21
You people make me sick!Posted 1 year ago | Report
22
Guess I wont be getting much diet food anymore. Thanks for your honesty on this embarrassing subject.Posted 1 year ago | Report
23
Beer gives me the shits to. I cant imagine what would happen if I got really beer drunk and then ate a bag of olestra chips. The next morning would be disaster.Posted 1 year ago | Report
24
So if I cant eat diet food because it will give me the shits, should I just be continuing down my path of inactivity, sloth, and gluttony?Posted 1 year ago | Report
25
Are they called Baked Lays because that's how they're made, or because that's what I'd have to be to enjoy them?Posted 1 year ago | Report
26
you're stupid. aspartame is awesome!!!i mean yeah, it might give me cancer but im skinny and i can drink all the soda i want. yay!Posted 1 year ago | Report
27
Fuck olestra. If you are fat, you should just ingest large quantities of ephedra. Or methamphetimine, that will make you skinny as well. I hate me some fatties, but speedfreaks is coolPosted 1 year ago | Report
28
There was a report on CNN the other day about this Olestra shit... its scary that not many people know that it causes violent diarrhea. Posted 1 year ago | Report
29
We polished off a bag of Lay's "Max" chips for lunch and dinner, feeling chic and cosmopolitan. A little constipation was a small price to pay for fat-free enjoyment of a delicious grease substitute!Until that evening, when tragedy struck.
I went into the bathroom to attempt a transaction. Dropped my pants. I sat down with a good book (ironically, Tom Robbins' Jitterbug Perfume), and successfully issued forth a perfect grogan.
But something was wrong. Everything seemed wetter, not like diarrhea, but somehow -- how can I put this delicately -- juicier. I couldn't explain what it was, until I got up to look.
I was experiencing the horror of "anal leakage." In addition to my regular waste matter, there were thick brown drops of grease floating on the water. It looked like someone had spilled 10W-40 into the toilet. What was even more disturbing was the greasy yellowish film that was collecting on the water's surface, like high-grade canola oil.
I had to wipe 15,000 times to clean up this mess. When I was finished, I called in Jade to take a look. She was so terrified by my bunghole emissions that she refused to eat any more chips.
Posted 1 year ago | Report
30
Before my shower in the morning, I had the urge to give birth to Baby Brown. This I did with little difficulty; in fact, my bowels were slightly soft. The consistency was like a thick lentil soup.Thanks Olestra
Posted 1 year ago | Report
