If you ask me for anal sex, take a dump first
Every once in a while I get lucky and my girlfriend let's me bang her in the ass. Well, last night I'm fucking the shit (wrong expression I know) out of her pussy and she turns around and says, "You can stick it in my ass if you want" and that made me hornier than I already was, so I pull out of her pussy and start to slip it in her winky when about halfway in I run into an obstruction. The first thing that pops into my head is man, that's kinda gross bumping up against a turd with my dick, but then I figured maybe if I just kept banging her I could shove it back in far enough to get the damn thing out of my way.
Well, that was a bad idea because jamming the turd back in caused the gas behind it to back up and just about the time I went in for what probably would have been the thrust that got the turd out of my way, the gas exploded. It shot my dick and the turd out like a rocket. Now, if getting your dick explosively expelled from your chick's ass and then getting hit in the gut with a flying turd doesn't make your dick soft, you're a better man than I am.
Sir Ventalot
Rating:4.22
Comments
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31
well don't that that stop you... most girls would only recommend it if her passage was clear anyway... kind of dirty to ask the guy otherwise. And doggy is a girls favorite position wen the girls have came from rodeo or whatever... give us a great pounding from behind!!
PS I'm not a whore i just love sex!!!
xxx
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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32
A couple of guidelines for anal fun...
Do it in the shower.
Enemas first.
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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33
she meant to shit on you, she was waiting for you to finsish up so she can give u the old cleavland steamer
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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34
why would you fuck something with shit in it if you're straight, anyways?
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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35
Anal sex is unclean an an abomination to the LORD.
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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36
The Lord was okay with it last night.
;)
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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37
i think i DLed a torrent of the lord butt fucking this one latina :P
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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38
Or maybe you assume she's not faking. Poor deluded loser.
Sounds like your just sore cause never get any thing except your hand.
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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39
your so full of ,pardon the pun ,shit. you idiot you haven't had any pussy since pussy had you
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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40
your mama!!! :)
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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41
shoulda given her the ol' scottish bobsled instead
Posted 10 months ago | Report
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42
were there any beans in her shit?
Posted 9 months ago | Report
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43
did the fart smell like egg or onion? I wonder?
Posted 9 months ago | Report
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44
pathetic
Posted 9 months ago | Report
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45
i am in tears! ya shoulda stuck it back in the puss
Posted 9 months ago | Report
31
well don't that that stop you... most girls would only recommend it if her passage was clear anyway... kind of dirty to ask the guy otherwise. And doggy is a girls favorite position wen the girls have came from rodeo or whatever... give us a great pounding from behind!!PS I'm not a whore i just love sex!!!
xxx
Posted 10 months ago | Report
32
A couple of guidelines for anal fun...Do it in the shower.
Enemas first.
Posted 10 months ago | Report
33
she meant to shit on you, she was waiting for you to finsish up so she can give u the old cleavland steamerPosted 10 months ago | Report
34
why would you fuck something with shit in it if you're straight, anyways?Posted 10 months ago | Report
35
Anal sex is unclean an an abomination to the LORD.Posted 10 months ago | Report
36
The Lord was okay with it last night.;)
Posted 10 months ago | Report
37
i think i DLed a torrent of the lord butt fucking this one latina :PPosted 10 months ago | Report
38
Or maybe you assume she's not faking. Poor deluded loser.Sounds like your just sore cause never get any thing except your hand.
Posted 10 months ago | Report
39
your so full of ,pardon the pun ,shit. you idiot you haven't had any pussy since pussy had you Posted 10 months ago | Report
40
your mama!!! :)Posted 10 months ago | Report
41
shoulda given her the ol' scottish bobsled insteadPosted 10 months ago | Report
42
were there any beans in her shit?Posted 9 months ago | Report
43
did the fart smell like egg or onion? I wonder?Posted 9 months ago | Report
44
patheticPosted 9 months ago | Report
45
i am in tears! ya shoulda stuck it back in the pussPosted 9 months ago | Report
