Welcome caller!

I find myself sitting on a couch drinking Namibia's finest, looking at some really really really really really low contest show. A contest show that thrives on taking money from the really really really really really needy by promising not-so-huge amounts of money to "the next caller" that calls in by some miracle blessed upon them by whatever deity the caller happens to sing praises to.

I call it a miracle because of the fact that in order to become a successful caller, you have to pass what to me seems like the 7 gates of limbo in order to become the chosen one... You see, there's a supposed clock on the wall in the background of the great show supposedly showing the supposed current time in order to somehow give a supposed sense of security that the great show is supposedly actually no-bullshit live.

It's at times like these that I wish some great great tragedy like an earthquake or some sort of a truly hellacious volcano erupts, if for no other reason than to unmask the fallacy of the great show that purports to be live! and in realtime! , if for no one else's sense of entertainment than my own.

Think about it, we're all wasting away while the happy person on the great gameshow smiles away, handing out promise after promise about how the next caller is going to win big! F yeah! If I have to go, I'll choose to go this way, silently laughing my ass off knowing that the great big lie has been laid bare for all those who care to see see the light.

But enough of my twisted dream of how I'd like to leave this weird place called life, think for a moment about the person at home. The person at home sitting on some other couch, watching the very same great show on some other telly in some other condo/ home/ flat. The person at home who thinking to themselves about how they are going to manage making it through the next 30/ 31 days when all of a sudden, some happy person pops up on the electrolized source of happy hour promising not-so-huge amounts of money if that person at home by some devine intervention happens to be the next caller, and all of a sudden a lightbulb flashes brightly above their head about how the amount of money they might (really small, tiny might) win carry them through to the next month to continue the great struggle...

So the person at home phones in, confident that they will pass the great test and make it through to the happy person on the electrical messiah within the great show (and lest we forget, it's live! people!!! ). What do our friends find? Why, at $7 a pop and after 100 tries, they still haven't had the holy light of luck shined upon them! By jove they say, they're now $700 deeper in the mushy mush! How on St. Peter's pistol will they make it through the next 30/ 31 days now???

And all the while we have some suits smiling broadly, for they now they will have no problem whatsoever making it through the next 30/ 31 centuries if they decide to stop trying to make money right now, live! , because... ... You guessed it! They have money coming out of their arses, they have money spilling from all their naturally created orifices (that includes the mouth), why, they have money coming out of their coming tools. They couldn't care less about you, me, their mothers even so long as they can make an honestly dishonest buck.

But that I still get. That's in their nature. It's in your nature. It's in my nature. Hell, it is nature.

What I don't get, what I fail to get no matter how I try to look at it, is how in this day and age people can still be so gullible as to a) Actually believe that the show is really live! and b) That they stand an ounce more chance of actually winning anything more than diddly squat.

Point b) especially. Seriously, you have about as much a chance of winning as you have of being a successful Caucasian farmer in Zimbabwe.

But that's not my gripe. It's close, but that's not my gripe.

Let's turn our attention to the happy person in the great show. She (it's always a she) probably has the best excuse of all. She knows the great show is taking bread-money from the people least capable of affording it. She knows the money wolfs don't really need more money than they already have. She knows she isn't taking home the same slice of the pie as the suits.

And. yet. she. still. fucking. smiles. that. angelic. smile. on. the. fucking. TV.

And what's the excuse? Well hey, I gotta make a living!

Fuck that shit.

Become an assassin. We'll all know you're a bloody killer but we'll respect you more because at least you're honest about it.

Become a politician. We'll all know you're talking bullshit 24/7, but we'll respect you more because we all know, at least I hope we all know, politicians talk bullshit 24/7.

What you are now happy person, is a very low kind of low.

But not even that is my gripe. It's even closer to my gripe, but that's not my gripe.

By now you're probably sitting on your chair wondering just what I have in my system after reading up to this point. Is it a hallucinogenic? Something that suppresses my central nervous system? Poison maybe? Something much worse, but we'll get to that in a minute.

I suppose I do not have to reveal what I think of the great show by now. But you know what? I will, just in case someone out there aren't quite up to speed of my emotional standpoint on the great show issue.

I dislike the great show.

Intensely.

I dislike it so much I hate it.

Not only do I hate it, I despise it, deeply.

Not because of the dishonesty of it, not because of the bullshit of it.

Simply because it symbolizes everything I perceive as being completely wrong in this world. It symbolizes to me all the bullshit of "reality". The lies, the deception, the hypocrisy, but most of all, the false fucking hope.

... And so we come to my biggest problem with the great live! show: If there is a devil, and there is a hell, then me sitting on this very couch watching this very fucked live! great show must surely not be far from what hell must be like. Are we in hell?

Rating:3.67

Comments

1
Great rant! 5 out of 5!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2 months ago | Report
2
WTF was this drivel? I've seen more sense in a Dr. Seuss book.

Posted 2 months ago | Report
3
More nonsense maybe? And you read Dr. Seuss? Aw... How quaint.

Posted 2 months ago | Report
4
What the fuck is this? You have all the coherence of a drunk baboon.

Posted 2 months ago | Report
5
I suppose that's meant to be a compliment kind sir, in which case I'll see your compliment and raise you 5 "tell your momma I said hi"'s.

Posted 2 months ago | Report
6
What the hell is this shit???

Posted 2 months ago | Report
7
A quick websearch of the word shit defines the word shit as either being a) a verb meaning, and I quote, "to discharge (excrement)" or b) slang for, and I quote, "to tease or try to fool".

That being the case, for both scenario a and b, consider yourself either very much teased or fooled.

Fool.

Posted 2 months ago | Report
8
Shit is excrement.

just like this post.

Posted 2 months ago | Report
9
And just like this post, you seem oddly confused by shit.

Posted 2 months ago | Report
10
Confused by stupidity i suppose

Posted 2 months ago | Report
11
In my experience, something beyond someone's intellect will always by confusing. In that sense and judging by your comment, this post > shit > your intellect

Posted 2 months ago | Report
12
'Couldn't be arsed to read it. Bloody hell - get a blog.

Posted 2 months ago | Report
13
Hmm. I think number 11 is right.

The comments telling him the posts are shit are beyond his intellect so that's why he doesn't get it and posts such nonsense.

Posted 2 months ago | Report
14
Good grief people, you don't see. This person is tired of the suits taking advantage of people, but moreso the rabble allowing the suits to take the advantage. The people are just settling for the small prize when they know they've been ripped off. And perhaps the poster is frustrated at not being the miraculous winner.

Posted 2 months ago | Report

Welcome caller!

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