Getting tired of hubby
I so screwed up my life when I got married again. I have three kids from my first marriage and I was a single mom for a long time. I think I did a damn good job with my kids. The oldest two are out of the house now, so there's just the baby. I've always been self suficient and capable, but I'm getting so tired of my now husband acting like I can't drive, can't make my own choices, always telling me what I should "like" to do, to eat, to read, to watch.... and worst of all, he's has the gall to point out when I do something wrong as a mother. What the hell. As if he has any experience (he never had kids). If I tell my kid no, he says yes, constantly over-rides my decisions without talking to me first. And God forbid I should say anything or complain, because he gets hurt and angry and started accusing me of trying to keep him from being a parent!!?? I feel like I'm being disrespected by him as a person and now he's teaching my kid to disrespect me. I'm so sick of it and running out of patience.Rating:5.00
Comments
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1
Um, leave, file for divorce, and start screwing other men.
Posted 3 months ago | Report
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2
Sounds like you're dealing with a fucktard. You have 4 choices:
1. Put up with it and continue to whine.
2. Fuck around.
3. Leave him and get a new fucktard.
4. Try to change him.
Good luck. Sucks, doesn't it?
Posted 3 months ago | Report
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3
Wondering how it came to be that you even decided to marry this guy in the first place. Was he THAT different before?
Posted 3 months ago | Report
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4
My friend went through the same thing with her ex, she just wasn't married to him. And he would say things directly to her son about her (he is 6 years old).
I would talk to him. The fact that he is overriding your decisions in front of the kid, is wrong. If your child sees him doing this and sees you putting up with it, he/she is going to think he/she can walk all over you as well.
I would try talking to him about it. If it doesn't change, it is never going to change and I don't think you should put up with it.
Good luck!
Posted 3 months ago | Report
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5
Consider the situation from the logical point of view.
Had you drafted any kind of marriage agreement, and if you did, was there anything about parentyal rights to your children? Was there any legally-binding document (aside from marriage license) ever signed, that grants him parental rights?
If the answer to previous questions is no, then your husband simply has no grounds to claim parentship. Therefore, you can answer with clean conscience, that yes, you are preventing him from acting like a parent, because he is not one in the first place.
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On a side note, give careful consideration to which of your decisions are being overruled. If you come to conclusion, that overruled decisions all (or in majority) belong to the kind of parenting that child in question wouldn`t be happy about, I suggest to consider divorse.
Reason for that is quite simple - if facts bear out suggestion above, your husband is quite likely attempting to get in child`s favor, even if it means spoiling child silly. Exact reasons are irrelevant, although they could provide some insight into a question on how to fix the marriage. Frankly speaking, though, attempting to win a child over through "political" bribery suggest insecure weak character - and that`s hardly ideal husband.
Posted 3 months ago | Report
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6
You are the reason I NEVER want to ger married
Posted 3 months ago | Report
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7
Wow... You are not too bright.
Why isn't 'sit down and discuss my concerns with my husband' one of your ways of dealing with this situation?
I bet giving your first husband the silent treatment, then going straight to bitching his ass out lead you straight to divorce the first time.
I hope you haven't shared these lessions with your children, of they will be miserable for life.
I don't mean to get preachy, but marriage is all about communication. Your husband does this because you YOU let him. Sit down, have a calm talk, and let him know these things really bother you. As long as you are calm, he'll listen.
If he doesn't, then you probably need to move on and seriously reconsider your taste in men.
Posted 3 months ago | Report
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8
Hey #6 haven't you said the same thing about a dozen times in other vents?
Joking aside, if you're like me, you're just venting and things will be back to "normal" in a few days. But just in case this is more than just a vent, chill, have a margarita... then get you a punching bag and put it in the back porch, or some whiffle balls and swing at 'em in your backyard. You married this guy for SOME reason, so stop being a pushover, tell him what's on your mind, "communicate". Don't be afraid to piss him off or hurt his feelings, guys are a little dense sometimes, you need to draw them a picture. If he really cares, he'll fume a few days and then he'll think about it and he'll to see that his actions aren't helping your relationship and he'll come around. If he's a moron, then he'll just blow it all off, in which case both of you should seek counseling or split. Life's too short to live with a grudge or a jerk or a chip on your shoulder.
Posted 3 months ago | Report
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9
You would have lost the bet no. 7. My first marriage ended when I caught the jerk with another woman making plans to split my inheritence. And you're right I should try communication first. I'm not really a talker and I hate confrontations so I withdraw, I guess it's not good for any relationship. No. 8 is right, I was just really upset and venting. I guess there's only so much you can bottle up. Feelings don't have anything to do with being bright or dumb, but maybe my choice in men hasn't been the greatest either. Thanks for the advice.
Posted 3 months ago | Report
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10
Go play in traffic lady
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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11
Tell him he is a fucktard! He needs to take his head out of his ass and realize that he is teaching your kid to disrespect you and that your word is null and void. I would put my foot in his ass if I were you!
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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12
Hey no. 10, are you this OP's hubby?
Posted 2 months ago | Report
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13
Sounds like your hubby has low self esteem if hes got to harp on you that much.
Posted 2 months ago | Report
1
Um, leave, file for divorce, and start screwing other men.Posted 3 months ago | Report
2
Sounds like you're dealing with a fucktard. You have 4 choices:1. Put up with it and continue to whine.
2. Fuck around.
3. Leave him and get a new fucktard.
4. Try to change him.
Good luck. Sucks, doesn't it?
Posted 3 months ago | Report
3
Wondering how it came to be that you even decided to marry this guy in the first place. Was he THAT different before?Posted 3 months ago | Report
4
My friend went through the same thing with her ex, she just wasn't married to him. And he would say things directly to her son about her (he is 6 years old).I would talk to him. The fact that he is overriding your decisions in front of the kid, is wrong. If your child sees him doing this and sees you putting up with it, he/she is going to think he/she can walk all over you as well.
I would try talking to him about it. If it doesn't change, it is never going to change and I don't think you should put up with it.
Good luck!
Posted 3 months ago | Report
5
Consider the situation from the logical point of view.Had you drafted any kind of marriage agreement, and if you did, was there anything about parentyal rights to your children? Was there any legally-binding document (aside from marriage license) ever signed, that grants him parental rights?
If the answer to previous questions is no, then your husband simply has no grounds to claim parentship. Therefore, you can answer with clean conscience, that yes, you are preventing him from acting like a parent, because he is not one in the first place.
___
On a side note, give careful consideration to which of your decisions are being overruled. If you come to conclusion, that overruled decisions all (or in majority) belong to the kind of parenting that child in question wouldn`t be happy about, I suggest to consider divorse.
Reason for that is quite simple - if facts bear out suggestion above, your husband is quite likely attempting to get in child`s favor, even if it means spoiling child silly. Exact reasons are irrelevant, although they could provide some insight into a question on how to fix the marriage. Frankly speaking, though, attempting to win a child over through "political" bribery suggest insecure weak character - and that`s hardly ideal husband.
Posted 3 months ago | Report
6
You are the reason I NEVER want to ger marriedPosted 3 months ago | Report
7
Wow... You are not too bright.Why isn't 'sit down and discuss my concerns with my husband' one of your ways of dealing with this situation?
I bet giving your first husband the silent treatment, then going straight to bitching his ass out lead you straight to divorce the first time.
I hope you haven't shared these lessions with your children, of they will be miserable for life.
I don't mean to get preachy, but marriage is all about communication. Your husband does this because you YOU let him. Sit down, have a calm talk, and let him know these things really bother you. As long as you are calm, he'll listen.
If he doesn't, then you probably need to move on and seriously reconsider your taste in men.
Posted 3 months ago | Report
8
Hey #6 haven't you said the same thing about a dozen times in other vents?Joking aside, if you're like me, you're just venting and things will be back to "normal" in a few days. But just in case this is more than just a vent, chill, have a margarita... then get you a punching bag and put it in the back porch, or some whiffle balls and swing at 'em in your backyard. You married this guy for SOME reason, so stop being a pushover, tell him what's on your mind, "communicate". Don't be afraid to piss him off or hurt his feelings, guys are a little dense sometimes, you need to draw them a picture. If he really cares, he'll fume a few days and then he'll think about it and he'll to see that his actions aren't helping your relationship and he'll come around. If he's a moron, then he'll just blow it all off, in which case both of you should seek counseling or split. Life's too short to live with a grudge or a jerk or a chip on your shoulder.
Posted 3 months ago | Report
9
You would have lost the bet no. 7. My first marriage ended when I caught the jerk with another woman making plans to split my inheritence. And you're right I should try communication first. I'm not really a talker and I hate confrontations so I withdraw, I guess it's not good for any relationship. No. 8 is right, I was just really upset and venting. I guess there's only so much you can bottle up. Feelings don't have anything to do with being bright or dumb, but maybe my choice in men hasn't been the greatest either. Thanks for the advice.Posted 3 months ago | Report
10
Go play in traffic ladyPosted 2 months ago | Report
11
Tell him he is a fucktard! He needs to take his head out of his ass and realize that he is teaching your kid to disrespect you and that your word is null and void. I would put my foot in his ass if I were you!Posted 2 months ago | Report
12
Hey no. 10, are you this OP's hubby?Posted 2 months ago | Report
13
Sounds like your hubby has low self esteem if hes got to harp on you that much.Posted 2 months ago | Report
